Monday, July 23, 2012

Yoga Relationships Gone Bad - YBJ #83 Summer 2012

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Issue 83 Summer 2012
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What is Yoga Business Coaching and Did You Invent It ?
Yes! No! er, somewhat. Wait, I get one more phone call, right? I'll try to reach
a certain former politician who got a lot of flak for making public his part in
"inventing" the Internet.

OK, maybe he's busy. So, I'm prepared to only go as far as saying that maybe I kinda
sorta possibly with total humility probably coined the term in early 2004 - unless
proven otherwise. Your mileage may vary.
Regardless of who is responsible for launching or naming this new industry, here's
the gist of how I can be of service:
Yoga Business Coaching is a partnership of deep communication, an empowering dialogue
designed to serve your success as a yoga entrepreneur.
This is not a typical consulting scenario. In an on-going relationship, we will
develop a trust that will allow me to serve as your advisor and confidant, helping
you envision and achieve your highest good in business and in life.
As a sounding board and catalyst for creative thinking, we will ensure that you
make good choices for your business and your life. Together, we will co-design projects,
marketing campaigns, and implement systems that will make your venture grow and
flow smoothly.
My program is tailored specifically to your unique situation, regardless of whether
your business is in start-up phase or already established. We will look at your
entire life as your yoga, with your business as an extension of who you are. We
will fit your business into your life in a way that will support balance, freedom
and prosperity.
This program works -- but don't take my word for it, read what clients around the
world are saying about their experience. Just click here [http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=001BFhsXcimZHvfXmFyUbrV4wZZoxKSeTaXwSAaHMvrXMa6YbQCRHI1Jc36gFz_RfCMff3Lpar6D7YHyf8PMiu2CrGdzPN-uDwKzGiuqxPXtZ5JZdtJhoYNdi99JiilT-fp3ejhU8jLIkk=]
for over 60 pages of meaningful testimonials.
Namasté.
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Favorite Yoga Quotes
"Yoga is not about touching your toes, it's about who you become on the way down."

~ I believe this is by Judith Lasater. Forgive me if I paraphrased or Alonified
it somewhat.
--------------------------------------------------
Have a favorite yoga quote you want to share? Send it on over!
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MASCOT
NAMING CONTEST EXTENDED!
Right Now
on the adorable and devastatingly interesting
Upward Facing Blog

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We have a new mascot for the Upward Facing Blog... but he needs a name!
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Ready? Click on his collar for details, prizes, and to submit your brilliant name
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Have a great yoga story that you would like our community to hear? Send it over!
I'll be publishing the most inspiring (or funny) entries in this newsletter.
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Notes, News, and Errata

~I'm giving the Seva-Driven Tele-classes the summer off. We'll resume them in the
Fall.
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Namasté david,

As it happens every summer, I've been working with many clients on changing their
deeply-held paradigm about this being the slowest time of year, because, they insist,
"that's just how it is..." Oh, paleeeze... what a load of stinky yoga mats! Throughout
this outdoors-focused season, I relay a simple message to those willing to hear
it: Since yoga makes everything we do in summer better, safer, and more enjoyable,
as well as the fact that our practice keeps us less prone to injury if we do something,
uh... let's say, ambitious - why on earth does attendance have to slow down when
people need it the most? There are plenty of people who have not gone away for
the whole summer who could be filling your classes. If your studio suffers from
this syndrome, call me.

My wife and I just got back from a backpacking trip in the unbelievably dramatic
and beautiful Yosemite National Park (see photo way down at the end). It has been
10 years since either of us has done any real back-country excursions that require
bringing everything you need to survive with you. On our first day, we went uphill
(and I mean really uphill) for seven miles straight, with both of us strapped to
our very own 40 lb. pack! Did I say ambitious? I really meant insane.

After hours of climbing, it was exhilarating to arrive at our destination - a beautiful
alpine lake at 8500 ft. elevation - and dive into it. Yosemite is an enormous park...
but I'm pretty sure everyone there that day heard me as I experienced just how cold
water can feel without actually being ice.

After completing our weekend adventure by going downhill for 7 miles, which my wife
considers more difficult, especially on the knees... All I can say is, Thank God
for yoga. Because, after 10 years of not doing this, with me at 50-mumble mumble
years old, we're already planning our next trip! Sure, we felt the sweet exhaustion
and overall soreness from what we put our bodies through - but except for some lactic
acid that needed to be cleared out of our legs, there was no joint pain. No old
injuries came forward, no extended recovery time, nothing.

Luckily, the very thing I preach to ensure summer success for yoga studios was made
beautifully apparent in my own experience. I guess I walked my talk (sorry, couldn't
help it).

As for the theme of this issue's main article... I've been hearing a lot of grumbling
from clients about challenging relationships in their lives and businesses. Thought
it would be a good time to discuss it. Comments would be appreciated.

Have a fun, healthy and yoga-filled summer!

In gratitude... Enjoy.
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Yoga Relationships Gone Bad
This month's subject is vital to the success of any yoga business-yet, I have found
that many owners find it so uncomfortable that it is largely ignored. This article
is intended to shake us out of complacency and into the clarity of action.
On a daily basis, the quality of our relationships mirror who we are, how we think,
and how we lead. In business, being able to manage and cultivate healthy relationships
can make the difference between flowing gracefully toward our goals and pulling
out our hair in frustration.
Us yogis are an intuitive, compassionate, generous, empathic, and openhearted lot
-- sometimes to such a degree that it can hurt us, as well as our business if we're
not careful. We generally want everyone to be happy, and often baby-sit the emotions
of others in our desire to help. As leaders, we cannot afford to underestimate the
importance of protecting our personal energy. If we take on the pain, neediness
or negative energy of other people, we can't operate at our best when we most need
to.
All of our relationships are all governed by energetics. Good relationships are
easy to be in, naturally making us feel more alive -- while challenging ones can
suck the life right out of us (did someone just come into your mind as you read
that last sentence?). Sometimes, we don't even notice the cumulative negative effect
we are letting this have on our ability to build our dreams.
So, if we find that a relationship is not working for the highest good, we first
need to inquire as to how we are being in that relationship before laying blame.
This way we can learn to identify trouble before we sponge it up and make it our
own.
Keeping our center is a yogic skill that helps us avoid taking on other people's
"stuff" -- whether they are our business partners, our staff, our investors, teachers,
students, landlord, family, or even the "collective unconscious" during a Monday
morning commute.
The way to deal with challenging relationships is not by shutting down, ignoring
them, or running from them, but by remaining open and sensitive while protecting
ourselves. We protect ourselves and our business by taking appropriate, timely action.
To a large degree, those you've invited into your environment influence your life
and business. The solution may be simple, but not always enjoyable: say goodbye
to the combative, arrogant, incompetent, passive-agressive and negative people in
your life and business as soon as possible. Avoid trying to change them (that rarely
works, unless they really want to change themselves). If they work for you -- replace
them; if they are friends -- find new ones. Life is too short to hang around with
dark clouds.
You deserve better, and just as important, it is also your responsibility to protect
your yoga community from influences that would impede their practice.
This is not intended to be harsh. It is meant to reflect the reality that no one
is going to draw boundaries for you -- only you can do it. If you don't protect
your precious energy, it will be depleted and you'll find yourself tired and moody.
Also, if you don't make good choices about whom you allow to be in front of your
students, they may find somewhere else to practice.
As a business owner, you simply can't afford this, because you need all your energy
to steer your life and business through the twists and turns of the journey. Don't
worry about trying to make everybody like you, just be true to yourself and your
mission of bringing your yoga to the world.
The mind-set of the leader sets the tone for every organization. Who you are being,
especially in business relationships, produces either a powerfully positive or powerfully
negative ripple effect throughout the organization. People will naturally gravitate
to clear, grounded leadership and most are repelled by chaos. You are the leader
of your life and business. Own that position as your birthright.
All people, including the best leaders, are challenged by certain relationships.
When you find yourself getting overwhelmed, which often leads to that strange,
spaced-out feeling... a kind of low-grade paralysis that prevents you from taking
action -- take a short walk, regroup and find your center. Then come back, step
up through the fear, the tears, or the knot in your stomach and take action. Speak
your truth. Draw boundaries; say no to what doesn't serve the highest good of your
studio, your community and your ability to lead.
Your world needs you to be your best. You owe it to your students to keep their
yoga sanctuary free of drama and negativity. Give yourself permission to do what
is necessary to be the strong, compassionate leader you were born to be -- and
witness how much easier guiding your business to success can be.
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Et Cetera...
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar
and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came
over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house,
slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.


An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot
in the hall and again slept for about an hour.

This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: I would like to find out who the owner of
this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon
your dog comes to my house for a nap?

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar:
He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3... He's just trying to
catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?
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Et Cetera... Et Cetera...
A 103 year old Yoga Teacher... what more do we need to say to those that haven't
tried yoga? Click on this amazing elder to watch him in action.
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Et Cetera... Et Cetera... Et Cetera...
Photo of Yosemite Valley taken from Glacier point. Believe me, it does not do it
justice. You've got to see it for yourself to believe it. See that peak that looks
like a hoodie? That's Half Dome. In a previous adventure, I climbed to the top of
that beautiful rock. What a rush that was!
Yoga has accompanied me in climbing many mountains around the world and I'm sure
has helped me stay alive to tell the stories. Strength, endurance, balance, grounded-ness,
flexibility and the ability to breathe correctly even when oxygen was scarce (especially
on Everest) helped my body avoid the panic that I witnessed in fellow climbers as
the air became thin and the terrain treacherous.

Like I said, yoga makes everything better, even your chances of survival under extreme
conditions and stress. I am very grateful for that...

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